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Friday, November 25, 2011

Designers to create ‘Shoe & Slap’ Collection For Political Class

Fa...sh..sh..sh..ion Bureau Exclusive

Mumbai, Nov 26

Bullet-proof Jackets and Z-plus security are passé for IPL- Indian Political Leaders. Their urge for more refuses to go away. More wary of shoes & slaps than bullets, Netas are all set to change their dress code replacing Kurta-Sherwani. Especially after the treatment given to Hunger Minister un-Shared Power.

proposed design from 'Shoe & Slap Collection'
Citing security reasons and looming threat from the “aam adami”, all parties have accepted the proposal of new dress code in national interest; dutifully keeping in mind national unrest. Leading Fashion designers have taken a cue and started working on the tentatively titled ‘Shoe & Slap Collection’ for political winter that is chilling the leaders across the party lines. The new designs are likely to involve helmet-like caps, collars designed like cheek-guards (to avert slaps) and shirts made of bullet-proof material. A silicon valley company has been pitched in to develop ‘shoe-detector' during press-conferences. It will protect the leaders from foot projectiles that may go ballistic.

‘Shoe & Slap Collection’ is expected to make it big in political fashion with the fast-approaching assembly elections of five states. All parties have shown keen interest and placed orders of high quantity, inform sources.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Election Reforms in Fast Lane: Govt to replace Elections with F1 racing

Sports Reap-orter
New Deal-hi, Oct 31

Feeling the pressure from all quarters for changes in the electoral system, the Central Government has come out with a novel idea: To replace Lok Sabha Elections with F1 racing. Candidates willing to enter the Lok sabha will have to win the race which in turn will decide the candidate for the constituency. 

It will be easy to manage all the races in 2-3 phases with high precision and no disputes, removing all possibilities of corrupt practice normally associated with conventional elections. Tracks required for Electoral racing , also known as E1 racing, have been approved by the Government as well as the Election Commission.

Special tracks will be prepared in every state capital, construction of which will be awarded by a committee headed jointly by Suresh Kalmadi & Anna Hazare. Kalmadi has a vast experience of awarding contracts before the commonwealth games and Hazare is a well known anti-graft activist with the speed matching F1 race standards.

Members of Team Anna (United till we part) are happy over this surprise development, inform sources. The Congress is likely to engage Vettel for the training process of 2014 Lok Sabha racing, while the BJP is fast approaching Schumacher via Bal Thackarey - Sachin Tendulkar route.